1. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.
4. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
5. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
6. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.
7. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
8. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
9. LOL has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.
10. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?
11. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.
12. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
13. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
14. Why is it that during an icebreaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem….
15. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
16. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
17. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
18. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
19. Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles…
20. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
21. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, , and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time…
22. It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
23. I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
24. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
25. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
Original Post : Reddit
